So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
