haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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