So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
