im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
