That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize