he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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