soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
