I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
