I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
