if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
