This dress was meant to end up on your floor
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
