Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
