i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
