"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
