I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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