I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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