jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
