Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
