Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
