Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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