i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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