I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
