Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
