you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
