oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
