im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize