When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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