they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
