You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize