He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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