Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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