God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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