you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
