now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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