Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
