just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
