Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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