Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
