...so i touched it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
