Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
