a queef is a wish your heart makes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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