She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
