oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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