Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
