Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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