I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize