Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize