nut hugger
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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