I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize