Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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