never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
