I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
