Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
