She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize