I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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