oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Randomize
