Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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