Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You are the jesus of drinking
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
